The Netherlands (II)

Why Should You NEVER Travel to 
the Netherlands? (II)

7. They Call Soccer Football

The Netherlands happens to be one of those countries in the world where soccer is the preferred sport. In fact, they don't even call it soccer; they call it football. Now, you know what football is: It's a sport where grown men run into one another at full speed in order to gain possession of an inflated piece of pigskin. It's not a sport where people kick a ball with their feet and a tie can be considered a victory. Gross!

8. The Women Are Too Beautiful!

If you're a single man on the prowl, then you absolutely 100% do not ever want to set foot in the Netherlands. Why? Well, it happens to be a home to some of the most beautiful women in the world. You might say that this is a good thing. But, put some thought into it man! A trip to the Netherlands is going to completely spoil you. How will you ever find someone that reaches that standard when you get back home? You won't.

9. Wildlife? Come On, Now!

As if the plants and flowers weren't enough! The Netherlands also happens to be incredibly rich in animals. You see, you can travel to the beach and see deer grazing in the meadows nearby. It just sounds like one of those boring Renaissance paintings to us!

10. It's Dark At Night

There's another side effect to the lack of urbanization in the Netherlands. It can get really dark at night. This, of course, can make it quite hard to see if the moon's not out. Even worse, when it's that dark, you can look up into the night sky and see way more stars than you've ever seen before in your life. This is another thing that's just going to make you feel worse about wherever it is that you call home.

11. There's No Budweiser

Here in the states we drink our Budweiser, our Pabst Blue Ribbon, our Miller High Life, and all that and we like it! In the Netherlands, they simply don't care for our American beer. In fact, they think it's garbage. Can you believe that snobbery! If you're going to go out drinking in the Netherlands, be prepared for one thing. They don't understand what beer is all about: you're not supposed to enjoy it; it's supposed to get you drunk.

12. Windmills!?!

And how can we forget the windmills? If you've seen pictures of the Netherlands before, then we're willing to bet that they included these. The landscape is dotted with them. It's like, Come on Netherlands, can't you hop into the 21st century already? Don't you realize that we burn coal and use radioactive metals to generate power now? It's so much better!”